Dos and Don'ts in Paris

I've run across so many admonitions about how to behave in Paris that I better jot them all down here so I can perpetually review them. God forbid we should look like American tourists!

1. Always say "Bonjour, Monsieur /Madame /Mademoiselle" upon entering a store and "Au Revoir, Monsieur /Madame /Mademoiselle" upon leaving.
2. Always say "S'il vous plait" and "merci".
3. Always keep your knife and fork in your hands and your wrists on the table when eating...
4. Don't touch the merchandise! (Ouch!)
5. Parlez francais.
6. Don't ask for any substitutions at a restaurant. Don't ask for vegetarian or lowfat options.
7. Don't ask for coffee during a meal.
8. Don't ask for café au lait but café creme. Better yet, take it black.
9. Don't pull out a map of Paris. (Use your iphone map instead...)
10. Don't wear a camera around your neck. (But phone cameras are so horrible!)

Don't talk too loudly in restaurants or other public places.
Don't cut the cheese wrong - don't cut the tip off the wedge...